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[30 Aug 2012|10:28pm]
So, melancholy?  I guess what fuck, I think I'm afraid of being alone.  I took a long time to attract a mate...  And it went wrong.  Fine, I get that, shit happens.  But now what?  I dont know what I'm doing and it really isn't coming naturally to me.  Sorry for spazzing this out onto livejournal, but you know this, right?  

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Terror? [27 Aug 2012|04:49am]
I just can't cope with this social. Situation thing.   I have no problem talking to people once I know them, but I can't just walk up to you in a club, and say hi, my name is Adam.  I can't do it.  I need to reflect on what this means, because I wanted to do t, but it's just not who I am.  I didn't expect this result, particularly,  I am the guy who spent new years telling everyone how awesome ( literally ) they were, so this is just...  Something new learned, perhaps?  
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[11 Jun 2012|10:25pm]

Ok, I am posting on my livejournal using my iPad!!! Using a damn apply app! Don't have anything to say, but you know, technology! Woot. Also, I love that I can touch type properly on the keyboard without any problems, and its responsive enough to keep up with my typing speed! Ok, that's all!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

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[16 May 2012|07:11pm]

out of the night that covers me
black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
In the full clutch of circumstances
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloodied, but unbowed
Beyond this place of Wrath and Tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the tears
Finds and shall find me unafraid
It matters not how strait the gait
How charged with punishments the Scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
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lol [08 Apr 2012|08:47pm]
Is that tragedy or irony?  bleh...
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I can smell [27 Jun 2011|10:12pm]
[ mood | worried ]

I can smell the rain, a tickling ozone sense in my nose that makes me think I am running on the plains of the serenghetti, not riding in a cab through Amsterdam.  It is going to fucking throw down from the sky in volumes, water crashing on water crashing on water, and the skys will roll and dance with the excitement of it all.

I talked to my mum today, and she was crying inside.  Dad's not bad but he's far from good, and I can't stop thinking about what I couldn't hear down the phone.  I'm going home at the weekend.

And my wife is the most fucking fantastic and wonderful thing in the world, gravity, the reason, the point to it all.  She's wonderful, and I am very glad to have her in my life.  And I guess the reason I'm still smiling inside despite myself.

But I can still smell the rain...

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Amsterdam [01 Mar 2011|09:56pm]

Didn't even need edited.
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Remember when... [24 Nov 2010|09:25pm]
Remember when people used to find things on the internet, and then send them to each other?

The last 5 things I remmeber seeing on the internet and thinking "oh wow" were very very cool, but they were selling something:

What happened to the Star-wars kids, the Maddox', the numa-numa videos?  Now it's all "old spice man" and "the tipexperience". 

And all we seem to do is suck in the corporate awesome-juice like and snowball it round the social interwebs. 

Well, at least the Pr0n has changed for the better.  Free'er and easier!  :)
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Thhe silmarillion [13 Nov 2010|10:01am]
So I remember very vividly reading the Silmarillion when I was like 15, and had a massive boner for LOTR.  And I was bitterly bitterly disappointed.  It was confusing, slow, and basically not a novel - it was a history.

Very confusing.  So, I'm reading it again. To help me remember what the hell's going on (my elvish is pretty poor) I'm going to summarise bits and bobs here.


So, in the beginning There was super-god (Iluvatar) and supergod was bored, so he made a choir of normal gods (Ainar, or Valar) to sing for him.  The normal gods were pretty stupid, but they sang him a song.  One of the gods was a dick (Melkor) and basically decided to sing his own songs, because he wanted to be incharge.  The other stupid gods got a bit confused, and sang along with Melkor instead of singing the original tunes. 

Anyway, the sing-song turned out to have been about the world, and actually they were singing about the future, but they were too dumb to know it.

Then Super-god made the world, and put the gods on the world, and said "sort this dump out, I'm going to put some new things on it, they'll be kickass.  Probably Elves or something."

So, Melkor, and 14 other gods went to the earth, and sorted the place out.  There were 7 dude gods, and 7 chick gods, and they sorta did somekinda keys-in-the-bowl deal, so that every dude god clove as unto one flesh with the chick gods.  Okay, the god cast gets confusing, so:

Manwe - wind dude, with Varda, star-layd
Aule - making things dude, with Yavanna
Namo (Mandos) - dead dude, with Vaire, rip off of the fates
Lorien (Irmo), dream master, with este the healer
Tulkas Astaldo, foghter, and Nessa, deer fucker
Orome, hunter and Vana, flower lady

Nienna (alone) emo goth chick
Ulmo - water dude, with no one (his friendly hand)

And obviously Melkor, the bad guy.  Oddly, Nienna and Ulmo are obviously too ugly one for the other. 

Okay, So basically these 14 dudes are all busy making the earth, and Melkor's wandering round fucking up everything else, and none of them think "Hey, I know, 14 gods vs one, why doesn't someone kick him in the balls!?"

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Larry, Curly & Moe storm Buckingham Palace [02 Aug 2010|08:34pm]
Okay, so I ran the game.  It was...  okay.  No, it was fun, but I didn't really achieve the mind-rending horror that I was aiming for.  The first couple of hours were decidedly slap-stick.  I didn't really know how best to approach this.

So, let's introduce the Cast:

We had Francis Marlow, (referred to as Mr Francis by the slightly odd Jack, throughout).  He was the intrepid leader of team Harlequin, a severe OCD sufferer, with a photographic memory.  Secrets in a non-player private post, but his was a doozy.

Then we had Cutter, a stormer with some real personality problems, mainly stemming from a lack of understanding that machines are not better than humans, and a severe form of Kleptomania, because he wanted the bits and the peices.

Finally, Jack Faraday, a frother, with a somewhat "cute" outlook on life.  Hardcore at some points, but also slightly simple.  Though if I'm honest, he was played as if completely simple.  And he really really likes fluffy kittens.

I think I'm a bit rusty at GM'ing though.  I basically rail-roaded the characters through the adventure, and didn't do anything to steer their developing characters into the realms of horror. 

Saying that, I thought it had a most satisfactory ending, which was people standing round in what was left of London going 'the f**k?"
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Play it again Sam... [25 Jul 2010|03:24pm]
Roleplayers discovered here in Amsterdam.

Desire to GM - high.
Thoughts of forcing Heretic on unsuspecting Dutchies - amusing.
Going to run a one-off, but will involve some non-one-off themes, albiet with one-off characters.

The names Eddie, Francis and Jack may well turn up in the round.
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Let's try that again? [14 Feb 2010|09:53am]

Well, Friday was probably worth Saturday, just about.

We (being the head of Nigeria Finance, the head of Africa Finance, and a couple of the cool kids, and a pregnant lady) went out on Friday night, having nothing else to do.  Actually, let me state that one of the cool kids was also the marketing manager for Nigeria, and therefore very well tied in with the club / pub scene.

Okay, so we started in a pretty swish Sushi restaurant, where we had a kick ass sushi platter, with Miso soup.  Then, the Japanese / Chinese chef proceeded to cook up a stir-fry, Mongolian Barbeque style, you know, on a hot plate, in front of you.  Hilariously, he started doing some tricks with an egg, and promptly managed to smash it on the counter by accident.  :)  Beer was served, followed by Sake.  Oh, and he fried up a prawn for each of us.  When I say a "prawn", I think it's important that you understand, this prawn was the size of my forearm.  I've had some of these Tiger Prawns in the restaurant, and I have to say it would be a close run thing in a fight between them and an actual Tiger...

So, following this, we went to a bar, which was pretty quiet, and let's be honest, crap.  It was run-down inside, and not really that nice.  On the way out, someone pointed out it was meant to be an Irish bar (what?  to make a bar "Irish", you just make it crap?  Riiiiight...)

So, anyway, we had our pints, and left.  At this point, the pregnant lady left.  And suddenly...  wow.  :)  We made our way to another bar.  The marketing guy made his way in, found the owner, and introduced the owner to us all.  It's important to say that the owner looked like "The Jesus" from Big Lebowski.  He showed us in, and after a quick look round downstairs, we decide we're going to the upstairs lounge.  On my way in, about 7 different girls touch, prod, smile, and greet me, all of whom I hurreiedly and embarrasedly say "hi, I'm fine thanks" to.  Some of the downstairs girls were merely pretty.

So, another bouncer blocks the way to the upstairs, but the owner (Roddy?) says on you go, and we all fire upstairs. 

Rather than more beer, the FD decides what we really want is a bottle of Whisky, so we order one for the table, with Ice, water, coke!  And we drink it.  Here, the room is heaving with hotties.  Cigar's get lit up, and the drinking continues. 

Running out of time on my connection here at the hotel, but that's okay, as memory gets fuzzy.  I know we order a second and third bottle of whisky.  someone tells me we bring a fourth with us to the car, which takes me and 2 of the cool kids back to the hotel.  And the rest of the story I'll tell you in person...  :)

Connection dying...

See you soon.


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Drunk & hores [13 Feb 2010|04:26am]
Dunk.  That should obviosly read drunk,  4 in the morning drunk.  4 in the morning, and 3 bottles of whsky between 4-7 people drunk.  Drunk, and beset by whoress who each and every one looks like Niaomi Campbell.  I love you Beeccc.a  Seriously, I'm sitioting heren in a hotel lobby, postin g on LJ, isnstead f cranking one out onto a hot hot hot shoewre.  :)  /Bretter yhsn that, I even mnaanged to see my friends into a taxi, taking htem home.  Now, I'm going to see if I can even get a hardon...  despite the volume of hot chicks, none of the ultra-ultra-hot-premium chicks went for me.  They were all after the MD / super-rich types.  \  Damnb, I'm not even hot ton whores.  :(  At least I'mm hot to you, honey.

Damn their suygar tits.  :)

possinbly not the best valentines gift ever, but it's not until April.  And honey. if you'd seen gay elves as hot as these whores (retail price $20.00) then you would have at least considered it.


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NIGERIA [11 Feb 2010|04:42pm]

Facebook - blocked access, from Africa only.

LJ - keeps crashing when I access through the main page, but spaj.livejournal FTW.

I'm in Nigeria.
It's hot.
It's SWARMING with Mosquito's (filled with Malaria)
People drive like Spasticated Weasels on acid.
Everything is second hand, if you're rich.  Middle-class means 4th or 5th hand.  The poor are logarhythmic hand.
No one's kidnapped me yet.
I've seen a whole heap of AK47's.
The roads are 50% pothole, on average.  Sometimes it's more than 100% pothole.
The hotel is about £75 a night standard, and I'm paying £200.  There are only 12 hotels in Nigeria which are insured for international travellers, so they have a monopoly.
I withdrew £100 - the pile of notes are the same size as a small book.


More to follow.

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I'm officially 12 years old [24 Apr 2009|08:01pm]

This made me actually laugh out lout
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[16 Apr 2009|07:32pm]
Merter: if ( $bag == 'wet')
Merter: {
Merter: $spadge = 'fail at programming';
Merter: }
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Survivor!!!! [15 Apr 2009|08:39pm]
I have not lost my job!  This is a good thing.


Pizza has been had, to celebrate. 

I wrote this poem to celebrate

Lavender and butterflies
butter cups and tulips
This poem may be utter tosh
but at least I've got a job

I think that sums it up.  I hope I don't end up getting published - that was a rather excellent poem.
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Update [04 Apr 2009|09:42pm]
Watched Clerks II - very funny, and I was surprised that I didn't hate the ending.  I expected it to go cataclysmically wrong, and it didn't.  :)

Watched Shoot 'Em Up - very funny.  And exceptionally bad all the way through.  Still, full of guns = win.
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[22 Dec 2008|11:02am]
Saturday night / Sunday morning, I passed out, after urinating, a condition called Micturation Syncope.  Not that exciting really. for those of you getting overly excited by the wiki definition, all that happened was that I passed out.  I didn't crap my pants.  You know I'd tell you if I did.

In passing out, I managed to bounce my head off every sharp and hard part of the bathroom on the way down, giving myself a fat lip, biting my tongue, and spliting my head just below the hairline on the left hand side.  This particular wound was right down to the skull, but was easily remedied with 4 stitches at A&E.

I also received a skull x-ray, a heart trace, multiple blood pressure checks, and a tetanus jab.

I'm largely okay, maybe a bit run down, and a bit shakey.

cut for large imageCollapse )

So, there you are.

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Somnium Ex Machina [02 Dec 2008|09:59pm]
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